Started this blog in January 2022 and it’s now August 2023. That is so like me. I get so excited about an idea and get into it but my enthusiasm to follow through is much more challenging. I kept thinking, “I need to write blog posts consistently” but time has a way of getting away from you. By the time I’m finished with my day job I most often come home, eat then just want to go to bed or stare off into space.

I often wonder why when I want to do something it is still such a challenge to follow through with it even though it would probably only take me 20 minutes a day. Most days I’m just happy to have made it through another workday. My dirty dishes pilled up from the past week starting to stink. Little messes here and there. Feeling overwhelmed with life and not knowing how to prioritize or stick with a decision I’ve made. Frustrated with myself I haven’t made progress on my goals.

But I survived another day. I listen, read, and watch things about self help constantly. I think the information sinks in, just very, very, very SLOWLY! So in those moments I try to make one step closer to my goals, even if it’s only once a month, or apparently once every two years!

The things I’m passionate about terrify me the most. Not knowing how to become that version of myself that I want to be. Overthinking and feeling anxious, often paralyzed with indecision and fear. Yet I still have bursts of inspiration of the life I want to live. The person I feel I’m truly meant to be.

Yet I know that if I don’t at least attempt to work towards my dreams in those little pockets I will live a life that for me I will regret. My ambition much higher than my determination. Seeking happiness in each moment as best as I can. Also being okay with not being okay all the time.